Heal Me Sane
by MarionetteHarlequin
Summary: meet Kim Kibum, a 20 year old that suffers from a mental illness, he's believed to be too far gone for help. with a kind new Doctor being the only one willing to help. will he be able to get a hold on his sanity?  SHINee fanfic


Chapter 1: **Mamma**

* * *

"Kibum, having a fun?"

"bet you are, look at all these great gifts!"

A dark haired teen sat in the middle of a group of adults, his smile fading as people continued to ask him the same question, over and over.

He wanted them to shup up, he wanted them to go away,he was tired of it all but daren't say a thing. That might upset his father, and he didn't want to do that. So he continued to answer all of their stupid annoying questions, his voice going lower and duller each time he answered, trying to be a good son so his mother would be proud of him.

Why didn't his mamma love him already? Weren't mothers supposed to love their sons, even if they were stupid, ugly, whiny and didn't do everything exactly perfect?

"Kibum! arent your parents nice for throwing you such a lovely party? I remember i didn't get a party at all, when I was turning 17 all i got was a 'happy birthday, boy' and that was it. Aren't you lucky, Kibum?"

"I…am" he strained, the words becoming harder and harder to push out. It wasn't as though he didn't want to do it anymore; it was like he simply couldn't. It was beecoming real hard for his lips to move, it was like they were stitched together tightly and his mouth was as dry as a raisin, at the next question, he didn't give a reply, it wimply wouldnt move.

"is something wrong,Kibum?"

"…"

"Kibum, answer!"

He wanted to say something, anythig...but he couldnt, he was dizzy now, it was like somebody had placed a hand over his mouth…only that, that person was inside of him, their nails digging into the inside flesh of his lips, holding them shut. He couldn't talk, he couldn't answer his mom, father was going to be so angry at him later!

and as he was starting to panic, his lips finally moved...

"i don't like it! Shut up already, leave me alone!"

He slapped a hand over his own mouth less than a second later, dark brown eyes widening as he looked up at all of the shocked adults. He saw his mother, her pretty brown eyes watering and glaring at him as she felt embarrassed infront of so many people.

he wanted to cry, how could he do this to her? she will never love him now, he opened his mouth with the intention of explaining his mother how sorry he was.

"Mom, wait, no, I—"

Kibum felt this funny feeling in his pit of his stomach, and suddenly, his head began to spin, and he could feel his lips moving again, even though he knew that he wasn't moving them. This was scaring him, who was talking for him, why was this happening?

"I hate this party, you stupid cow!"

Gasping for air, Kibum stood up, watching silent tears drip down his mother's cheeks. He had upset her now...he was in for it later, once his father found out what happened, he'll never leave him live it down.

He was currently at work, but anyways, Kibum decided he should apologize and lock himself in his room until this all went away...until it all just went away.

Shoving past the group of adults, Kibum only trusted himself to say a hurried "Im sorry!" before he burst through the door to the house, marble floor tiles thudding under the weight of his feet. As he made his way up the stairs, he felt that feeling in his stomach again, and he wanted to throw up and cut himself open to get it out. He had to make it stop somehow, it didn't matter how, but he wanted it to stop.

"Father's gonna be mad, Father's gonna be mad, he's gonna be so, SO mad..."

"Who cares if daddy's mad? I sure don't, and you shouldn't either,heh...Kibum-ah~"

"Stop talking to me! Leave me alone!"

"Why, Bummie? I won't leave...is better if you are the one to leave"

"I cant leave! This is my body!"

"Its mine too, Bummie...is my body too. I think you should leave. leave...kibum-ah~"

Kibum began crying, his breath hitching erratically as he ran all the way to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He grabbed the lamp on his nightstand, gripping it firmly in his hands and swinging it before dropping it on to the ground, shaking his head furiously.

"Bummie, you're not allowed to cry" he heard himself say. He could feel himself tugging on his hair, slapping his hands over his ears, shaking his head, and finally blacking out...only...that he wasn't blacking out, he was still awake.

it was a whole new feeling, as if he was no longer in control n only looking from far. he didnt care what mother or father thought anymore, he just wanted to hit something! to smash it as hard as he could.

Picking up the lamp once again, his ears perked up slightly as he heard a knocking on his door. It was his mother, back upstairs to have a...TALK with him.

"Bummie..." she said softly, almost innocent as she knocked on the door, her high-pitched voice quavering as though it was on the edge of tears. "Bummie, may i come in?"

"Of course, mamma..." he said, his voice shaking with excitement "you SHOULD come in"

There was the creaking sound of the bedspring as he stood up, the rustling of his designer clothing as he walked across the room, and finally the soft clicking of the doorknob as he opened the door for her.

His mother was standing outside, her back-length black hair slightly out-of-place. Kibum had never seen his mother's hair out of place. It was always in a tight high bun on the back of her head. Kibum thought it was so pretty and wondered why she never let it down, it was soft-looking and shiny, it made her small brown eyes look so pretty, her lips were so red and round and perfect. she was one of those persons that get prettier with age.

But now, Kibum wanted nothing more than to ruin that pretty face. He wanted to make it bleed, to hurt , to make his mother pay for not loving him, for controlling every aspect of his life with guilt, for pretending she didnt see what his father does to him...he hated her...

"Bummie, please explain to me, what's wrong with you today?"

Kibum didnt hesitate, he pulled the lamp out from behind his back with great force, slamming it against his mother's face, her high-pitched scream echoing throughout the house. There was a dull thud as her body hit the ground, she had fell to the floor probably shocked, her nose profusely bleeding, blood squirting out of her mouth probably having injured her teeth.

Not waiting nor hesitating for the slightest moment, he slammed the back of the lamp into her face again, continuously crushing her face until her screams and pleads became gargled and choked as she drowned on her own blood...until they finally stopped.

Dropping the blood-spattered decorative lamp to the floor, brown eyes glistening brightly and with excitement, Kibum felt warm, red liquid seeping through his clothes and tainting his skin but didn't mind it at all.

"Mamma~" he said, voice holding the childish tone he had when he was younger, full of innocence and no knowledge of the horrors of the world.

"Thanks...I had fun at my party..."

"Heebon? Heebon?"

Mrs. Han walked into the room, one of his mother's friends that had been invited to Kibum's party, apparently, she had either noticed Heebon had been missing or heard her screams.

Her eyes widened as she saw the hideous sight before her. Kibum giggling softly, snuggling up to his mother's unmoving body, her face smashed, broken and blood staining the both of them. The blood making splashed sporadic patterns on the wall, leaving some kind of eerie design.

"Call 119!" she shrieked loud enough for everybody downstairs to hear, also attracting the attention of the slim teen that had been fixated on his mother's body moments earlier.

He looked up at her but all she saw was a sickeningly sweet smile from him before she slammed the door shut and ran downstairs, going to make sure that the police was getting there soon.

A few minutes later, Kibum heard sirens and the loud thudding of footsteps as policemen barreled up the stairs to the bedroom.

however, he didnt care that they were there. They couldnt fix the problem, nobody could.

Even as they bursted into the room, all of them horrified at the disgusting sight and even more scared of the insane look in the bloody teen's eyes.

even as they dragged him to the back of the police car, all he could do was laugh.

...it didn't matter.


End file.
